Weird Symbols & A Visit From Satan

First the weird symbols:

   I guess these are Georgian letters. Found them in a Chinese blog entry on here on some ones blog. Don't know what they were doing there in the first place.

They repeated through out the entry too. Weird.

Badis Yaka! ^.^

And then I got a visit from good Old Satan a few hours ago. He sent his minions from hell to wind me up ( The bastards upstairs ). I want them out.

Oh and tomorrow is Easter! YAY!

Damn You Irritating Pest From Hell!

They woke me up again and I swear that I will go up there and tell them if they keep this up. I want something done about them. They can't continue doing this.

DAMN YOU TO HELL!

So basically what happened was I went to sleep earlier in the day until now. And I had this really nice dream about me meeting BoA and talking with her and then singing with her and it was really nice. When the dream ended I pretty much slept on in peace.....

......that is until they woke me. >:(

Kill.....Must....Kill......

I feel atm and through out the entire day that I could actually go and tell the people upstairs to STFU! They have been driving me crazy all fucking day. Not one moment in the day was peaceful for me. I can't live like this.

Neither can my mom so the only way out of this hell hole for the both of us is to:

❤ Tell the people upstairs they need to shut up
❤ Die ( I've wanted to for so long )
❤ Or go some place quite where I can get some peace.

And in the last one I mean that I want to be in isolation. Yes that's right. It's reached the point that I don't want anything to do with the rest of the "world" if something isn't done to correct the entire problem.

Bye.

Happy Birthday To Me!

Quote:

"My birthday is on March 1st and the last thing I need is for my Sweet 16 to be ruined."

Well I wrote that on Valentine's day, so you can see how long I've been "away" from here due to alot of the stuff that's been going on. Any way on to my Sweet 16 that happened yesterday.

It was DA BOMB! And I'm so happy that everything went well without anything bad happening. Thank you God for answering my prayers!

Well that's all I need to tell you about what went on during my Sweet 16......

"I want details! And I want them now please!"

Gee! I guess the boingy wants details then huh? Well okay:

My 3 bbf's came over and we played a few rounds of chess and it was fun and we talked and ate cake and icecream laughing until our sides had burst. No we didn't choke so stop worrying. Anyway and then I got some presents from them.

They got me exactly what I was thinking about for like the past few days on and off for some reason: A really cute journal and really cute pens to go with it. I love it when people know what I like!

Any way. That's basically it. Just lots of fun that I will remember forever. A peaceful funny Sweet 16. Thank you God!

"Thanks for all the details and I'm glad that everything worked out!"

Your welcome!

The Devil's Lair

WELCOME TO THE DEVIL'S LAIR! ENJOY YOUR STAY.

But I did not enjoy my stay. Not one minute of it. Today was insane. The day started out ok and then when my mom called me to take my meds for my fucking, son of a bitch, cunt, jack ass OCD that's when the egg hatched. That's when everything went bye bye.

To make a ridiculously long story short I bring you this:

* I had attempted to drink some Ginger Ale before taking my meds. Some of it went down the wrong way and I choked.
* The glass that I was using dropped from my hand onto the washing machine ( It wasn't broken ).
* I told my mom this and she said "That's ok we have others." So then I asked her "Just like this one?"

And then this convo ensued.

Mom: "Yes."

Me: "Do you know where?"

Mom: "Not at the moment, but I guess I'm such an idiot that I don't know where they are."

**Note: If you read my journal entry from yesterday ( I believe ) then you'll know why the word 'idiot' is in bold.

And then there's yelling and screaming because of what she said.

Me: "I never meant to call you an idiot! It was an accident! IT WAS A FUCKING ACCIDENT!"

And with that I went into my room completely worn out and upset with all of the yelling. I wasn't in my room long before another problem arose: The CFH. So then I got "dressed" and I was going to go downstairs or something to get away from all of this. And my mom said that I can't go out because I'll have no where to go.

And I told her that I didn't care and that I've had enough. So what happened was I would up going out on the balcony instead for a good while.

And when I came back my mom told me that she had called Aileen ( my bbf mom ) to check on me and she did and my mom and her talked for a good while while I had my music on really loud and singing at the top my lungs out of agony. My mom got me cheese and it made me feel better. ^.^
For me cheese is like chocolate. I like both but cheese is my comfort food. Phew! That must be the longest LJ entry I've ever written!

Evil Evening

And the reason why it's evil is because my whole day went well without any problems what so ever ( because of the snow storm ) until the evening.

And that's when the bastards upstairs start their fucking meaningless crap! I want them out!

What The Hell Is Wrong With Me?!

Something is wrong with me because I'm hot when it's like 0 degrees out! And I don't know why because I don't do anything to make myself hot. As I write this I have the AC on! *Screams in frustration*

I just want to be freaking normal!

P.S I made another CD today. YAY!

PT Came

Well the only eventful thing that happened today was the fact that my PT came today and did some exercises with me ( which I thought were stupid ).

Well that's it for this day. Peace out!

A Day Of Hell And Cheese

Today was absolute hell and I have the fucking ass bastards to thank for it! Honestly I want them out of here! They kill me! They really do.

Any way to make a long story short I went through hell for a good while and then I had the sudden thought in my fucked up mind for a craving for cheese. So I went out and got cheese and ate some.

I felt better. Calmer if you put it that way and a tiny bit of happiness inside me.

I'm weird. >.>

Happy Valentine's Day!

My morning was hectic though. The rest was fine so far. I'll tell you about it in a short list:

*Francis quit because of me.
*She was afraid that I would hurt her during my suffering.

That made me feel......*Wishes she could describe it* This morning was hell upon hearing the news. I'm.....I'm done with living around people......

Good Bye!

An Early Birthday Present

I got an early birthday present today. It was a library book that was looooooong over due. And I've been meaning to take it back but something always came up in the weeks that I was supposed to go and take it back and they called yesterday saying that I could have it!

I'm so happy! YAY!

A Hectic Morning

This morning was hectic. I should say a bit more then hectic because things got kind of physical between me and my mom over a fucking ass CFH on TV wailing it's worthless ass off......

And Francis heard it all again.

I'm getting tired of this I really am. Honestly one of these days I'm going to end the whole damn thing. The rest of my day was fine without any more problems which I'm thankful for. ^.^(v)

Hell

Ok so my evening/night was hell because of the prospect of TS happening ( it didn't but still ). I didn't go to sleep until like 5:00AM. And I was up all night worrying my ass off.

I want the weather men to get it good really good the fucking bastards!

A Long Day

I went to the clinic today and we were there way too long. I thought that there was going to be MAJOR problems with the CFH but there wasn't thank you God! I'm worn out and tired of spending so much time in the clinic waiting for them to get the medicine from......

ACROSS THE FUCKING STREET! Because of their ignorant stupid asses we were there longer then we needed to be.

I want them to pay for what they did to us.

Later on after I came home I went to bed because I was soooo fucking tired. I woke up to this really bad dream and I couldn't stop obsessing about it ( Fuck you OCD )! I'm ok now but it was awful.

*Hopes that no more dreams of the sort happen again.*

.....Let Me Die!

♫ On the first day of February Satan gave to me, A day full of hell and shit. ♫

Seriously though today was absolute hell! It seems that January didn't want to leave so quickly. It was raining so naturally I was nervous because of what happened in January.

Any way to make a loooooong story short I had another emotional breakdown and my mom got hurt physically because of it ( it was an accident ) and the HA saw and witnessed all of this as she did with the other problem that I had.

I can't take much more of this.

18 Hours......

......of sleep. Seriously! I went to sleep yesterday and woke up at 7:00AM today!

I needed because I went through hell on Saturday. Same problem with the people upstairs and it was really bad. Aileen had to come over to take my mom upstairs to talk to them and it all went wrong. They don't live in the apartment we thought they did.

And it's 2 apartments! Not one, but two separate apartments with each containing a pile of shit.

Let's face it. I'm fucking doomed.....

And that about sums it up people!

I Can't Believe It

I went to see my therapist today for the last time because I'm being transfered to another place ( can't remember the name atm ). Getting ready to go was hell because I ran into too many problems with CFH. Also because of what happened last year at camp and the fact that something is going on with the whole thing ( The director is trying to sell it or something and then there's money problems blah blah blah ).........
......I'm not going this year.

I'm going to miss Sara and Jacob ( he gave me my first kiss last year ) immensely. I hope to see both of them again some how someday......I have Sara's email but I don't have any way of contacting Jacob..........How can I be so stupid? Knowing him for 5 years and not asking him for his address or email ( if he has one ).

*Screams* I just hope in some weird way I'll get to see him again.

Shopping! YAY!

I went shopping today and I got more pens, and a really cute photo album with frogs on it. I'll write something with the pens that I bought on the weekend and scan them and post them here. Right now my day ended with the fucking CFH. I swear I can't take much more of this.

I also went to the art store that I think I told you about yesterday. It was heaven to see all the buttons and the like.

Changes

Things are changing and for the good too! ^_^ I'm extremely happy about that. Yesterday I went out and I got 2 Selena CDs:

Selena ¡Vive!

Selena Remembered ( comes with a DVD too )

And I also got more cheese and it was sooooooooooo good. I'm going to get more tomorrow because I'm going out again tomorrow as well. Hahahahahaha! And on Friday I'm going to see my therapist. I know it's been ages since I've wrote in these.

But then again there is my LJ if any of you actually care what happens in my twisted life......

Awesome!

Ok, to get things straight before I explain my day is that we got a new HA because Yvette wasn't all that she seemed to be. You'd be shocked if you knew the whole story from day one.

Any way some one else came to take her place and her name is Francis and OMG! She's a God send! We have so much in common! And this is like a dream almost I can't even tell if it's real! Well I went out with her today and I got the following 2 Selena CD's:

- Selena ¡Vive!
- Selena Remember CD and DVD in one!

And the other things were just some stuff to eat. I'm so very happy. There was just one tiny flaw, I ran into another creature from hell. >:(

Interesting Day

Today was actually kind of interesting because a PT came over today ( totally unexpected ) and did some stuff with me and told me some things and my mom and him talked about my "history" regarding my PT and the reasons why I need it.

I haven't had it in about a year or maybe a little more. Ever since I left school I didn't get it and I've been out of school for over a year now. So......yeah. I also got to have cheese today! *Drools when thinking about it* Like I said I haven't had it in a while.

So it was good to have it. I have some left over of course. Also that dreaded cursed feeling came over me today while the PT was here and the first time it came over me it was really intense and I screamed......

Really I hated the fact that this was happening to me even more because he asked me what was wrong and I "told" him ( actually I told my mom and then explained it to him first ). I just wanna be normal!

Plans

Today I had more problems......so I'm going to make a list of ways to die. I'll get back to you when I'm sure that one of them will succeed.

Hell

I went through absolute hell today involving you know what. Ever since I found out what the whole hearing thing was and the fact they can't stop it etc. It's been 10 times worse.....

I even tried to kill myself today.

*Sigh*

I slept in due to what went on yesterday and I woke up at around 7:00AM and a little later I get the dreaded feeling again. And not only that but it's intense! Also it feels a little different too. But it's the same thing.

What the hell is wrong with me?