Thursday, August 31, 2006

More Events

I just thought you should know that yesterday Kerry called! She told me that she's taking me out some time next week either on Tuesday or Wednesday! I'm looking forward to seeing her again. I have alot to tell her. Also my mom went to the drug store to pick up my other medicine that keeps my OCD in check. It's been quite a few days that I had without it so I'm happy to have it back ( also this means that NO more issues with you know what will occur ). Also my mom gave me another gel pen.! It's green! YAY! Envy my happiness!

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

MY 100TH POST! :)


Introduction: As you know I have a list of Satin's Angels on my blog that I have encountered during my life. I have also decided to make another one to host the new list of Satin's Angels that I've met at camp and at the loony bin. And let me tell you I've met alot. The main thing you should know is that this list might differ slightly then the other one. As for now that all you need to know.

And since this is my 100th post I would also like to present the "come back" of my diary entries from camp! Soon to follow these are the ones from when I was at the loony bin. So with out further interruption I present Diary Entry: 07-24-06!:

Dear Diary,

Wow, for the first time ever the day sucked. One of my counselors agreed with me that I was crazy! But just now I found out it was a joke! And a few minutes ago we had a major break down, and then made up. Earlier this morning there was a problem too. If I write about it I'll go nuts. And now for something pleasing, not happy but pleasing. We went on a nature walk with a guy named Lenny. I saw so many butterflies and other insects there.

Loads of cabbage whites, clouded sulphurs, Eastern Tailed Blues, and Dragonflies.
2 ringlet butterflies
1 monarch or viceroy
A bunch of Canada Geese
I also took a picture of a Eastern Tailed Blue butterfly and some geese. I also hope that nothing like this EVER happens again. On a happier note for evening activity we watched the movie The Pink Panther. It was so funny! Hopefully tomorrow will be much better.

Note: The counselor I was talking about in this entry is on the second list! And it's not just because she agreed with me that I was crazy ( the full details of the incident on the second list ) but she was also mean to me. Also what I meant by " I hope that nothing like this EVER happens again." was that I hoped nothing like what happened during the incidents happens again. I just wanted to make that clear. So any way HAPPY 100TH POST DAY!

Monday, August 28, 2006


So today was supposed to have been eventful because Dolores was suppose to come today but she couldn't so she's coming on Friday. She's suppose to come and check up on me and my mom and find out what's been going on but nothing. Alot has been going with me and due to her "uninvolvement" she doesn't know that I've been in a loony bin for 8 FUCKING DAYS! She also doesn't know about the medicine that knock me out during TS. And she doesn't know the my OCD is much worse due to the fact of being exposed to the same sort of environment like that in the school I used to go to, but it happened in the fucking loony bin! And I have diary entries to PROVE it! So I just thought you should know that. Until Friday!

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Soooooooooo Wanting To.....

I really don't know what to say or what to name this post. Any way I bet you're wondering about my Diary Entries from camp. I'll post the rest when I stop suffering. Right now the weather is so fucking bad! I'm so fucking nervous. So I have to hurry up before something bad happens and I feel like killing my self. So any way bye for now, the diary entries will come just be patient.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Interesting Post That I Think You Should Read

On my other blog I've posted a bunch of questions relating to some of the things that's been going on in my life. I think you should read it. You can comment on them here or on my other blog, but you must know the following:

1. You can only post comments relevant to the questions on my other blog. I won't accept any insults or spam or other comments saying how insane you think I am or I'm a liar or a thief ( you know who you are who post these kind of comments ).

2. If you have any questions about any thing relating to this post, or my life you may ask them as long as they don't contain what's listed above. Thank you for taking the time to read this notice and the questions on my blog. Good day and Good afternoon.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Fucking Happiness

Well as you know I have alot going on right now at the moment. Right now my mom is talking to my therapist Dr. Grodberg about what's been going on in the last few days, probably about how I was locked up in a loony bin for 8 FUCKING DAYS! and how so very happy I am to be home and out of there. As for right now I'm fine. I just came out of my wonderful bedroom from sing my heart out about how happy I am right now. I also hope that I will never have to go to the loony bin or any other loony bin ever again in my life. And just now my mom just told me that he's gone on vacation until August the 30th, and I need my fucking meds to kick OCD's fucking ass! Any way my mom gave me a purple gel pen to add to my ever growing collection! YAY! And no you can't have it *sticks tongue out* Mwahahahahahahahahahaha!

Note: This post will be updated if anything else that's interesting happens during the day.

P.S My mom found a lady bug this morning, but it flew away.

Monday, August 21, 2006

I Feel Like....DYING!

As you know I've gone through too much. But why should I tell you my problems? Why should I rant on about my boring sucky full of pain and despair life? It's because I want too. I need to pour my thoughts into some where instead of keeping them inside of me. If you want me to suffer, your wish is already granted, it wasn't granted by some fucking blue genie from Aladdin, it wasn't granted by some Greek myth about three ugly and revolting ladies that decided your fate, and no, I didn't break mirrors or walked on the paths of some stupid fucking black cats either, and that was for you superstitious people. So let us look into why this post is called I Feel Like.....DYING! It's because.... well read the fucking title man! That's what I feel like at this dying!

Don't ask me why, it's just the way I feel right now. So if you don't see any new post in a good while, like a few months, with no explanation on my "mysterious disappearance" I'm either dead or I've gone on vacation with out telling you. So for now SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO EAT YOUR OWN SHIT!

Sunday, August 20, 2006


I was just thinking about somethings a few minutes ago. Like what my life would be like if I didn't have all these problems. I've been at Four Winds Hospital ( that's the name of the loony bin ) 5 years ago. I hoped and thought that I would never have to go there again. It was hell in Sunset ( that's the name of the unit I was in ), and it was hell in Lodge ( that's the name of the unit I was in this year ). You won't believe how ridiculous the rules were at Lodge! These are just a few:

1. You're not allowed CD's on the unit. ( This is because some of the kids might snap them in half and used them as weapons. ) Yeah, I can see some crazy kid committing BLOODY MURDER!!!!!!!!!!!! with a broken CD!

2. You're not allowed pens on the unit. ( This is because some crazy kid might stab some one with it. They could stab some one with a pencil too. And guess what? They allow pencils. What the fuck is this about? While you're at it might as well ban crayons too, some one might draw on some one to death.

Any way before I bore you to death that was just some of the things that I didn't like and that were meaningless. You would feel the same way too. One good thing though, a few days after I came to the loony bin an incident came up in art and I was allowed to listen to my walkmen when one of the staff took me back to the unit to avoid any more conflict with the other girls. I wound up keeping it for the rest of the time I was there. Same thing with my CD's that I brought with me, only thing that was the staff kept them in the med room. I was allowed to come to them when I wanted to switch the CD to listen to another one.

And then there were other probblems along the way too. Lots of them. Mostly all of them involved being teased by the other girls ( well most of them ), and having episodes due to the fact of my fucking OCD making me upset during the night, to the point they had to code me! ( More on that later ). Mike who was one of the night staff ( staff that stayed over the night ), was the one that usually coded me on the walkie talkies during incidents and episodes that I'd had that really need to go up the devils ass. In the mean time I got to go and eat food before I die of starvation. NIGHT!

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Leaving The Loony Bin!

Today I came home from the loony bin. And also for those who like my precious Arch Nemesis List will be happy to know that I'll be making another one! YAY! While I was at the loony bin I made loads of enemies. And yes I did make friends there too, but mostly enemies. I'll tell you why, it's because it was just like being back at school again. Yes you heard me mother fuckers! Most of the kids ( Mostly boys were involved but they're were some girls too ), found out that clucking, snapping their fingers, and popping gum bothers me so that's what they did! For 8 fucking days they did nothing but shit to me. What did I do to have such a fucking bad life? That's what I'd like to know for sure!

Almost every night something happened. If it wasn't the kids bothering me it was something else. And being in that fucking loony bin only made me worse. You wouldn't believe how fucking happy I was when my mom ( who came to visit yesterday ) told me I was leaving the next day! She was talking to my doctor who gives me my normal meds for my fucking OCD and who gave me the meds to "calm me down" when I got upset and what the other staff there called "out of control" Really all it was, was me reacting to the what was going on in that fucking loony bin. And I looked forward to writing in my diary about my days and nights at the fucking loony bin.

Oh, and for those fucking nosy people I will post my diary entries from when I was there. And I'm not doing it to please you either. These should've been posts on my blogs at home, not in some psychotic fucking loony bin! And I'm thinking of scanning the post instead of typing them. So what if you think I'm fucking lazy? Were you the one in the loony bin suffering for 8 FUCKING DAYS?! And even if you were in a loony bin doesn't mean you went through what I went through. Any way I bet you're noticing that I'm using the word "fuck" more often then normal, but hey, were you in a loony bin suffering instead of getting help for 8 FUCKING DAYS?! No you weren't now shut the fuck up and keep reading. Here are some things you should know before I post my diary entries here:

1. I hate my periods. I have a really bad fear of blood. I can't stand the sight of it. To me it's like digging up a grave and looking at some one's decaying corpse.

2. I have OCD. It been driving me up the wall for over 10 fucking years. Oh yeah, I forgot it's caused nothing but trouble for me.

3. I also have a really bad fear of T-storms too. Almost the same thing as the blood but instead of the corpse thing it's alot worse. I get really nervous to the point I flip out of control. You'd think I was being sexually assaulted or some thing. It's so bad I can't even say the word. I can't even type or write the word down. So I refer to them as T-storms or TS. I would prefer TS from now on thank you.

Also I really don't feel like updating my other blog with this much info so don't expect anything BIG. That's all for now.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Leaving Again!

Well I have to say that I'm leaving yet again! I'm going to a hospital so they can help me with my nerves ( they're out of control ever since I went to the devil's lair ). I don't know how long I'll be there. But here's the good news they have computers! So hopefully I'll get to update my blog there. They have other kids there too with other problems. I've been there before. I just thought *sighs* I'll never go there again. But any way I just thought you should know this. I'm leaving soon around 1:00pm so I would like to say good bye again...

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Diary Entry: 07-23-06

Dear Diary,

Today was awesome! My mom called today! Just like yesterday I saw alot of bugs:

Loads of cabbage white butterflies
2 tiger swallowtail butterflies
2 daddy long legs
1 spider
2 crickets
1 bristle tail
1 orange butterfly ( Not sure what kind )
We also had a camp fire today. I ate tons of marshmellows! :) Also we went swimming for 2 hours! And last night we had a dance. Tday we also had music we were dancing like mad! Can't wait for tomorrow! I also got beads from arts and crafts! :)

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Diary Entry: 07-22-06

No comments yet! What's wrong with you people! These are diary entries from my vacation! How can you not comment on them! Anyway here is another one:

Dear Diary,

Today I saw so many bugs!

2 daddy long legs
1 HUGE SPIDER! ( Fishing/Wolf Spider I think )

I managed to get a picture of it. But it wasn't a good one. I also took a photo of a daddy long legs. Not to sure on what kind it was though. I'm hoping ( when I go home ) I can send it to for an ID on what species it is.

2-3 may flies
1 small gray weevil of some sort
4-5 millipedes
2 pairs of millipedes were making love! I told them to "GET A ROOM"!
1 earwig ( at the pool
1 moth of some sort at night
Tons of mosquitoes ( and yes I got bitten! )
1-2 chafer beetles
5-6 ants in the computer room! ( * wonders what they were doing there* ).
2 stone flies
1 Dragon fly ( at the pool )
I also saw 2 bats! I also learned words in Arabic ( Egyptian ) today too! :)

Monday, August 07, 2006

Diary Entry: 07-21-06

Well here's another one of my diary entries from when I was at camp:

Dear Diary,

Today I caught a frog! I also saw alot of insects today. Here are some of them:

2 grasshoppers
2 chafer beetles
1 jumping spider
1 tussock moth
2 horse flies ( at pool )
1 frog!!! ( at the flower bed near the pool )
We also went to the creek for outward bound today and I saw a Tiger Swallowtail butterfly! :) I also almost caught it too ( with my bare hands ) ! :) Also I found the frog in the flower bed near the pool, and it was HUGE! I wish my mom could see it. We went swimming today and there horse flies EVERY WHERE! It was crazy. ( I had to keep ducking under water to avoid being bitten alive! ) Same thing with the mosquitoes too every where, only they were in the woods and outside the pool. Well gotta go to bed! NIGHT! :)

P.S Just a few minutes ago ( when I went out to look at the bugs near the light on the porch ) I saw a stone fly and 2 June beetles outside on the porch.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Diary Entry: 07-20-06

Well as I said I would here is the first one:

Dear Diary,
Today was awesome! Before I went to camp I saw a woolly bear caterpillar! ( The larvae of the Tiger moths Arctiidae ). :) These are all the bugs I saw today:

1 woolly bear caterpillar
1 ichneumon wasp ( Female )
3 june beetles
2 snout moths
1 daddy long legs
1 cabbage white butterfly
3-4 may flies
1 leaf hopper
Lots of mosquitoes
1 yellow jacket wasp
1 baby spider
2 chafer beetles
1 ant
Lots of june beetles ( Japanese june beetles ) We also had a talent show tonight! And tomorrow is a whole new day with more bugs! :)
And tomorrow there's a whole new entry! ( Photos of some of the insects and spiders I saw there will be posted as soon as I get them developed. )

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Guess What?.... I'M BACK!

Hello people! I'm back! I came home hours ago! Did you miss me? Did you cry like a over grown baby?.... ( just joking! ). Any way I have loads to tell you, and tons of bug photos to post once they're developed. And as I promised my diary entries from camp will be posted starting tomorrow. It's 9:39pm at the moment and I really want to start ranting, but man I'm so...*yawns* damn tired, well not that tired! just a little bit. Any way got to get ready for bed...before I collapse on the floor! ( That won't happen trust me... ) Any way tell you loads tomorrow! NIGHT SUCKERS! MWAAHHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!