Thoughts

I was just thinking about somethings a few minutes ago. Like what my life would be like if I didn't have all these problems. I've been at Four Winds Hospital ( that's the name of the loony bin ) 5 years ago. I hoped and thought that I would never have to go there again. It was hell in Sunset ( that's the name of the unit I was in ), and it was hell in Lodge ( that's the name of the unit I was in this year ). You won't believe how ridiculous the rules were at Lodge! These are just a few:

1. You're not allowed CD's on the unit. ( This is because some of the kids might snap them in half and used them as weapons. ) Yeah, I can see some crazy kid committing BLOODY MURDER!!!!!!!!!!!! with a broken CD!

2. You're not allowed pens on the unit. ( This is because some crazy kid might stab some one with it. They could stab some one with a pencil too. And guess what? They allow pencils. What the fuck is this about? While you're at it might as well ban crayons too, some one might draw on some one to death.

Any way before I bore you to death that was just some of the things that I didn't like and that were meaningless. You would feel the same way too. One good thing though, a few days after I came to the loony bin an incident came up in art and I was allowed to listen to my walkmen when one of the staff took me back to the unit to avoid any more conflict with the other girls. I wound up keeping it for the rest of the time I was there. Same thing with my CD's that I brought with me, only thing that was the staff kept them in the med room. I was allowed to come to them when I wanted to switch the CD to listen to another one.

And then there were other probblems along the way too. Lots of them. Mostly all of them involved being teased by the other girls ( well most of them ), and having episodes due to the fact of my fucking OCD making me upset during the night, to the point they had to code me! ( More on that later ). Mike who was one of the night staff ( staff that stayed over the night ), was the one that usually coded me on the walkie talkies during incidents and episodes that I'd had that really need to go up the devils ass. In the mean time I got to go and eat food before I die of starvation. NIGHT!